Losing a Co-Worker to Suicide: Providing Compassionate Support and Opening a Dialogue 

“A person never truly gets over a suicide loss. You get through it. Day by day. Sometimes it’s moment by moment.” – Holly Kohler

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When a team member dies by suicide it can be a very difficult and traumatic experience for everyone on the team. Usually when someone ends their life, it’s not because they want to die, but rather because they want the pain they are experiencing to end. When a loss like this occurs, it’s essential for employers to check in and hold space for their team. As a leader, it's important to provide support and create a safe environment for employees during this time. 

Here are some steps you can take to support your employees:

  1. Communicate sensitively: When informing your team about the death, be mindful of how you deliver the news. It's important to communicate with sensitivity and empathy, and to avoid sharing any details that might be graphic or traumatizing. Make sure to communicate that support is available and encourage everyone to take care of their mental health during this time.
  2. Offer support resources: Provide your team with information on resources they can access, such as grief counseling, WEconnect’s weekly grief group, and/or other mental health services. If you have not already, it may als be helpful to provide information about suicide prevention and warning signs. Let them know that it's okay to take time off or to seek professional help if they need it. WEconnect hosts weekly grief meetings and ours peers are available to provide 1:1 support, share resources, and walk along side folks as they navigate their experience with grief. 
  3. Be available to talk: Make yourself available to talk to anyone who wants to discuss their feelings about the situation. Encourage open communication and let your team know that you are there to support them. Remember, that as a leader it’s ok to show emotion and to let folks know that you are also impacted by the loss. 
  4. Create a safe space: Create a safe and supportive environment where your employees can express their emotions and feelings without fear of judgment. This can include providing opportunities for your team to share their memories or feelings about the person who passed away, and to offer support to one another.
  5. Offer flexibility if possible: Understand that everyone processes grief differently and some of your employees may need flexibility in their work schedules or responsibilities during this time. If the work allows, be open to discussing options for time off or adjusting workloads as able. 
  6. Encourage self-care: Encourage your employees to take care of themselves during this difficult time. This can include taking time off work, seeking support from family and friends, or engaging in self-care activities like exercise, meditation, or journaling.
  7. Respect privacy: It's important to respect the privacy of the individual that has passed and their family. Avoid sharing any personal information unless the family has approved it or it's necessary for work-related purposes.
  8. Address any work-related concerns: If there are any work-related concerns that need to be addressed, such as unfinished projects or tasks, make sure to address them in a respectful and compassionate manner; after you have shared and given your team space to process their feelings regarding the loss.
  9. Create a memorial or tribute: Consider creating a memorial or tribute for the team member who died by suicide. This can help your team process their grief and honor the memory of their colleague.
  10. Talk about prevention: Provide all staff with information about hotlines for suicide prevention, and any relevant employee assistant plans that provide mental health services and supports. Should another member be vulnerable to suicide ideation, this will provide them with immediate support and resources.
  11. Last, check-in with intention: Continue to check in with the employee after the initial shock has subsided. Grief is a process, and it can take a while for the employee to feel better. You don’t need to have answers or give advice or say and do all the right things. Checking in regularly lets them know that you care and are there to support them. Going beyond, “How’re you doing?” and asking if there are practical things you can do to be supportive can often be more helpful, especially if the person is unsure what support they need.

It's important to remember that everyone grieves differently, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to supporting employees during a difficult time like this. Be patient, understanding, and compassionate, and continue to provide support as needed. You can also reach out to WEconnect to find out how you can schedule an individual grief group for your team, run by our incredible Peer Support Specialists. 

Additional resources available here: 

“Don’t give up. Don’t give up on your story. Don’t give up on the people you love. Hope is real. Love is real. It’s all worth fighting for.” -Jamie Tworkowski

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